Getting Out

I hate when people say they just want out. They just want to get out of this town and move to some big city with big plans. I mean sure go for it, but they don't realize how alone they'll be. I mean you're leaving everyone behind. I have always had a problem with people telling me that this is a boring town, because my friends and I, although not always satisfied with this town, always had a good time, always have a good time, always make our own fun.
I have never intended to just get out of this state. I mean I have BIG plans but I have never hated this town. I love that I grew up here. It's beautiful and full of opportunity but...
There's always a but right?

But I don't want to end up like a lot of the teachers I meet. I mean there is nothing wrong with being a teacher, because that's noble, but so many of them graduated from the same high school they now teach at. They grew up in the next district over or down the street. They have seen this town grow and mature and that's nice and all but I don't to base my life in one town. I mean my foundation is here, it always will be. But that doesn't mean I have to be.
The state of Kentucky, and I'm sure many other states as well, have ways of convincing students to stay in the state. You can't use Keaas money if you go to an out of state college, you can pay a certain tuition for staying in your state and I mean, I get wanting educated people to stay in the commonwealth but its almost limiting.

Wait, this isn't even the point. This is:
I want out. Just for awhile. Just for a week even. Just to live a totally different lifestyle for a week in a totally different place. I want to go away and have an adventure and come back and appreciate my life here so much more. I want to go away and experience the world so that when I return here, I have an understanding on what I want. Because right now I'm sixteen and a junior in high school and I don't know. I don't know what I want except I know I want to be used by God. If He keeps me here forever then I know it will be a lovely forever, exciting and I will enjoy every second, but He is gonna have to tell me that...

But I don't think that's what He wants. I just need a better understanding of this small world. I am sixteen and I have traveled, I have been in big cities, but that's not the experience I'm talking about. I don't know.
Sorry folks, now I sound like one of those people I was talking about earlier. Oh well.
Hey, Might as well see where God takes me.

They Are Both

Good, once in lifetime opportunities, so which one, God, do You want me to choose?

Get Ready

I feel like goodbyes are really hellos. Truly.

I look at goodbyes with such a bittersweet angle. I mean I hate saying goodbye, even when I've been wanting to say it for a while but I hate it either way. Because you're losing something or someone that was once apart of your life.

But then again... You're starting fresh. And I like to believe that goodbyes are almost second chances. Maybe if we attempt to let go at the same time we release to final words from our lips, we can actually move on, we can say hello to whatever the future is sending out direction. I think it's funny because in all honesty when you say goodbye to someone you meet someone new within a matter of months, and we take that for granted. We don't give them the chance to not take the place of who we lost but instead to build an addition to our hearts.

I guess once to finally say the words then all you've done is say the words. But... Saying them and then walking away from the situation, happy or not, if we do it with peace in our hearts and confidence in our stride, maybe we'd see all the new beautiful hellos coming our direction. Oh well.

It feels like winter in Kentucky. I wish it felt like Autumn... Mostly because it's Autumn. Legitly.

Hectic

I complain about having too much to do.

Real Teen Faith articles to write, homework to do, tests to study for, a guitar to strum, poetry to write, a million things to plan and get ready for. But honestly, I love life. I love having to go here and there and writing down things on post-its to remind myself of things that need to get done. I love a hectic life. Not because I’m a busybody but simply because I everything I’m doing means something. It keeps me happy yeah but I’m investing in my passions and destiny.

Someone once told me that if you are bored with life, then you aren’t doing what God wants you to do because He has an exciting life in store for you. I’m not bored with life. I am not living in shades of gray, I am living in technicolor beautiful fullness. I love that. :)

Well, I figured I should write an update, not too long because of course I have too much to do! :)

P.S. www.stephjazmin.tumblr.com La Vida Es Bella blog :)